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Whenever you speak to another person or a group, youre selling something: products, ideas, viewpoints, or simply yourself. Your goal is to influence or persuade the listener to buy what you say, and your success as a communicator stems less from what you say than from your ability to make an emotional contact with the listener.

People buy on emotion and justify with fact. You may come up with logical reasons to buy a particular house or car, but you really make a preconscious emotional buying decision, then, justify it with intellect. You evaluate a speaker the same way. People buy based on emotional contact, then consider the ideas or facts.

There are three keys to effective verbal communication:

1.If you want to motivate, influence, or persuade, youve got to say it. People respond not just to words, but to nonverbal cues that convey energy and feeling.

2.What you say must be believed to have impact. In other words, for your message to believed, you must be believable.

3.Believability is based on preconscious perceptions. The impressions conveyed by a speakers verbal cues determine whether we think the speaker is honest, evasive, friendly, boring, warm or cold. We tune the speakers message in or out based on those impressions, not factual content.

To be an effective communicator you must establish trust and credibility. The first step in doing this establishing a visual connection with the listener and youre only believable if what you say harmonizes with what people see. For example, if you say, Im happy to be here, in a halting voice, looking at the floor, the words will not be believed.

You have to speak visual language to make emotional contact, gain listeners trust and be effective and persuasive. You need about five seconds of steady eye contact to involve the listener in your message, because thats the natural, comfortable length for eye contact in one-on-one communications, and it works with groups as well.

When you make contact with eyes, not faces, you appear more confident, feel less nervous, and are able to read your audiences reactions. Avoid darting eye movements or closed eyes; they make listeners uncomfortable.

You can increase you awareness of eye communication in pressure situations by watching television news, variety programs and talk shows. You should practice eye communication one-on-one with friends and ask for their feedback. Watch yourself on video to judge and improve your success at eye communication.

Effective communicators have upright posture and use natural movements to convey their confidence. You should always stand tall with your shoulders back and your stomach in; avoid rocking or standing back on one hip, which literally distances you from your listeners.

Practice standing in the ready position, which directs your energy toward your listener. Lean slightly forward, knees somewhat flexed, so you can bounce slightly on the balls of your feet. Use this position even in casual conversation so that when you get before an audience youll be in the habit of feeling like an athlete, ready to move easily and quickly in any direction.

Movement conveys energy, enthusiasm and confidence and makes emotional contact with listeners. Get out from behind the lectern: gesture, or at least lean forward, to give yourself more impact. Move naturally, not mechanically, a few steps at a time.

How you dress has a great impact on establishing trust and credibility. Dress and appearance count in first impressions. Dress appropriately for yourself and your environment and always be well-groomed, especially around the face where your audience will focus.

Effective communicators are likeable and when you have a warm smile and use open gestures you become more likeable to your audience. Your listener wants to know not just what youre saying, but how you feel about it. Gesture naturally when your message calls for animation and underscoring; otherwise, keep your arms and hands relaxed at your sides.

Its a good idea to video tape yourself giving a presentation before you actually do it, because you can check your gestures. Youll see that they look less exaggerated than they actually feel. You can also check you smile behavior too. Many faces naturally fall into a neutral or serious, even grim look. Become conscious of what your face is doing by practicing your smile in front of a mirror or a video camera.

When youre speaking always use descriptive words and avoid non-words. Develop a vocabulary that will help you make and impression on, rather than impress, your listeners. Be on the lookout for new words and metaphors that will help you communicate in a clear, colorful way. Dont, however use words just to show off, and never use jargon!

Communication is more than just dispensing information which is why involving your listener is a very powerful way of getting your message across. For example, you could open with a story or a question that focuses the listener on your message. Use action, motivation, and your voice to make your message visual and energetic, then, close with a motivational call to action or use a memorable quote.

Theres no rational reason to be anything less than natural when you speak to a group. The natural communicator inside you has been chained down by the rigid control of your own self-imposed fears. Let your strengths as a communicator give you confidence. Take your time and practice and master one skill at a time to turn your weakest areas as communicator into strengths.

Each time we ask more of ourselves than we think we are able to give, and then manage to give it, we grow. Confidence is the capstone of all your communicating skills. It attracts trust like a magnet. When you trust yourself and your own communicating skills, others will naturally trust you as well.

Copyright2007 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and success coaching programs. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in career coach training. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world, on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business, Finding Your Purpose In Life, and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook.